Plans For December

Don't you hate it it when things don't go according to plan?

I'm the WebcomiCritic and I'm not reviewing anything right now. I'm sorry I've been absent, for those who actually care. College applications are killing me, but they won't stop me.

I'm posting here today to prep you for what I'm about to review next so you can formulate your own opinions of the works before I either tear them a new one or give them a Pulitzer.

Newbie Rant: Legend of Zelda: The Five Heroes- Because it's the right thing to do. I made this monstrosity and it needs to be torn apart. Even great geniuses like myself aren't perfect.
Newbie Rant: FW! Adventures- Because I've been shirking this one ever since I started.
Newbie Rant: Lumia's Kingdom- It's gone on long enough for me to give Mr. Esrix a good or bad thoguht on this. And since this is the same Genius behnd Blue Zombie, I expect only good things
Newbie Rant: Runway- Because I should've done this one a long time ago. Its pretty good.
FUll REVIEW: The Heroes of C.R.A.S.H.- because my pal, Mr. Winthrop is back after computer troubles and I've put tis off for too long now.

And hopefully I will be bale to do them in that exact order.

Additionally, possibly expect reviews for

Life Ain't No Pony Farm
Ginger's Bread
Out at home

SO yeah, life stinks, I can't end this in a witty manner, so I simply end.

-Read or Die you Uneducated Buffoons
The WebcomiCritic

Delay: Heroes of Crash

You know who I am, you know what I do, You know why I do it....



Do I seem aggrivated to you? can't imagine why....

Maybe it's becuase my computer sucks... Or Rather... Internet Explorer Sucks...

I just spent the last two weeks writing my first and grandest review, and then it was gone... Was it Blogspot? was it Internet explorer? I dunno... But explorer decided to just CRASH! and It's all gone. I did a lot of work and it's gone...



POINTLESS! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


I may need a break or something. Apperently I'm not destined to do a grand and in depth review just yet. So I'll stick to newbie rants for the frikkin' time being. Newbie rants and One Page Wonders...

God... So much wasted work... Is there no Justice for a writer?

No Quote today... Just my rage...

-Read or Die you Uneducated Buffoons
The WebcomiCritic

So... Many... Webcomics....

Hello I'm the WebcomiCritic, I do it becuase, well.... somebody has to!

I have a list... Of Webcomics... A List of Webcomics I've read or legitmatly tried to read (as in made good progress in its archives). These will probbaly be what I'll be reviewing and good lord what a list it is. In addition, I'm throwing in a list of comics recommended to me that I'll try to look into.

What's more, i'll provide a link for each one so you guys can look int othem and form your own opinions.

*Glances at handwrittne list* GOOD LORD ALAMIGHTY, DID I REALLY READ THIS MANY!?!? Wow, is still read that one? Aww that one ended? Hmm, hey I don't even look at THAT one anymore, and... I have to look at that again?

..........

I think I'm going to hate my job... Anyhow, May as well jump in and take on the challenge head on.... TALLY HO!

Webcomics I've Read or Tried to Read
The Wotch
El Goonish Shive (One of the best, It'll be hard for me to maintain my posture as a critic...)
Abstract Gender (don't bother, there are many reasons why I stopped reading this...)
Girly (Surprisingly good. You Hardly see Cerebus Syndrome work in a good way)
The Lounge
Venus Envy (UPDATE ALREADY!!!)
Sparkling Generation Valkyrie Yuuki(It's absurd and the heavy fanservice makes me doubt a woman did this. Plot? WHat Plot?)
Zebra Girl
The Heroes of C.R.A.S.H. (This is one of those comics that's good but has no publicity. It should be more popular)
The Suburban Jungle (How a furry comic is meant to work)
The Class Menagerie
Sabrina Online (NO COMMENT!)
Blue and Blond (Good Too)

Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures (Great stuff)

2Kinds (It's like te plot got eaten by fanservice and slave fetishes becuase once upon a time, it had potential)
Inverloch (There are so many good and bad things about this one)
Least I Could Do (I only got into this recently. Finally, life through the eyes of a cassanova's friends)
Charby the Vampirate (I'd put this on a list of Webcomic LEGENDS)
Unlife is Unfair (Same person as above, but funner ^_^)
Elijah and Azuu (very long, very Epic, anotehr webcomic LEGEND. Odd, the epic half of the comic is down...)
NPC (I need to get back into this)
Menage a 3(So... Much... Fanservice... There is no way a woman made this!)
Culture Shock

Proeprty of Gwen
Alone in a Crowd (This is how you combine two kinds of right and make one wrong)
Cool Cat Studios (Another I'll give memorial to, but at least it actually ended. On a strange note.)
Blue Zombie (I'm going to have a memorial review of this greatness)
Lumia's Kingdom (from the same guy who did Blue Zombie)
Housepets! (Housepets. You need more?)-Newbie Ranted
Precocious (Becuase Knowledge is a weapon!)-Newbie ranted
Catena
Catharsis (I don't know, It was fine, then is started losing energy and then... I don't know...)
Slightly Damned (pretty cool comic, doubt it needs the warning thing though)
FW! (The only logical explanation for this comic is that it exists to make the poor main kid miserable...)
Peter and Company
Kevin and Kell (This is like of the webcomic Ancients! I think this is what Precocious and Housepets! want to be when they grow up)
Namir Deiter (Good)
You Say it First
Ardra (WHOA! I haven't read this in forever and the art has already gone from good to better!)
Blue Crash Kit (You had potential! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE!)
8-bit Theatre (Hey, the Site Went through a upgrade!)
Girls with Slingshots
Fanboys (F@nb0ys$)
Ctrl-Alt-Del
Loserz (Go to the Forum and download the archive, it's your only chance- wait, it's back? It's BACK? IT"S BAAAAAAAAAAAACK! TvT!!!)
Pokemon-X
Bob and George
Staccato
No Pink Ponies
Shortpacked!
Fur Will Fly
Zap! (A Cliche Storm... God Shoot me)
Runway (A fashion ocmic that's not at all about fashion!)
Dominic Deegan
Las Lindas
Count Your Sheep
No Room for Magic
Wisdom of Moo
VG Cats
Questionable Content

Order of the Stick (Webcomic LEGEND! Don't need good art to tell an AMAZING story!)
Sandra and Woo
The Dreamland Chronicles
Flipside
Sequential Art (This was obivously meant to be nonesensical. Just roll with it)
Misfile (How Long ago was it when I read you?)
Minus (... I can't think of anything to say. It's just that good)
Langlang (Think Precocious if it took a different route)

Candi (How long ago was it when I read you?)
Dresden Codak (GOOD GOD! I SWEAR I TRIED! BUT I CAN'T MAN! I JUST CAN'T!!!)
.....................

GOOD GREIF, HOW DOES ONE ACCUMULATE SO MUCH JUNK OVER THE COURSE OF 5, MAYBE 6 YEARS!??!?!??

I REALLY Hate my job now...

oh yeah, the recommendationsthat I will look into list...

List of Webcomics That Have Been Recommended to Me or That I've Heard too Many Good (And Bad) Things About That I Will Look Into Eventually
Experiment 0009
Cooties
Dr. McNinja
Alice
Ozy and Millie
Sluggy Freelance
College Roomate From Hell!
The Wotch: Cheer!
Wapsi Square
Penny Arcade (Yeah Yeah, so I haven't walked in the glow of it's majestic presence, so sue me!)
Penny and Aggie

.... Thank goodness that's a short list...

Anyhow, remember, I take recommndations and comments just add anything to the comment box or contact me at webcomicritic@gmail.com

"Face front, true believers"(My Idol Stan Lee) is today's finishing quote.

-Read or Die you Uneducated Buffoons,
WebcomiCritic

Newbie Rant 1: Precocious

Hello I'm the WebcomiCritic, I do it because, well... somebody has to!

I'm sucky at deadlines, ain't I? Well besides the fact school has been draining my life away, I couldn't archive Binge The Wotch. And I was so looking forward to snarking at it too.

NO MATTER!

Instead I shall be doing a little Newbie Rant, which will be a series of me doing webcomics that are fairly new and have enough material to give it an overview of it's potential. My FIrst Newbie Rant is about an interesting little comic I picked up not too long ago called Precocious and lord knows it has a good reason to.

The comic started out in about 2008 on a date I for the life of me cannot discern because the author decided not to put dates. Still, It's far fresher than any of the other webcomics I read so it's still good for a Newbie Rant.

The comic is about some kids, I think they're somewhere between 6-10 years old judging by their size and their ability to speak well. Not to mention their capability for evil...



You'd think children at their age would be too innocent to know exactly what good and evil are, but I believe you under estimate the comic's Title whose definition means "Developing, occurring, or appearing before the expected time."

The prologue story arc is about these kids trying to outwit each other in a war of who's the most evil that somehow escalates into a Gender Wars, especially when... The miniature Straw Feminist Communist comes along.



Yes, a Pint-sized feminist that believes that the "separation" between upper-middle class and middle-middle class is unfair

.

Adorable or Just plain creepy? YOU THE VIEWER DECIDE!

In fact, that's probably what makes the comic so lovable. Sure only adults would make the sort of arguments they make some of the time, but only children would blow things so out of proportion.

The concept is fascinating and the jokes are pretty funny, but I'm easy to amuse. Afterall, I'm probably one of the few who thinks a Soulless Faux Beauty Pageant girl is funny because it's demonstrating children capable of performing the most devious of acts...



Jazz Hands indeed.

Anyhow, What I find curious is how Paulsen decided to use Funny animals to portray the protagonists of this gag-a-day/story (Don't think He's quite decided yet.), but it was probably becuase he felt like it. though he may have a hard time keeping the furry-haters from beating him up.

Problems with the strip would include the format. I mean, is it gag-a-day like a serilized newspaper (Which judging from the strip style is how it's supposed to feel) or story and arc based with the occasional filler. Sounds like the trap Dominic Deegan fell into, which can be problematic. I mean, there's nothing wrong with using strips for arc-based stories, but, sometimes it's hard to pull off, and when you get a style that makes you think "Sunday Newspaper Funnies", story isn't really what matters, the punchline on that single strip does.

However, I have seen none of these pitfalls affect our Newbie Paulsen here.

What's more, the art is pretty good. Unlike most webcomic artists that start bad and get better, Pualsen started good and can probably only get better form there. I'd personally complain as a fellow artist about his the eyes take up 90% of the characters' faces(Since, you know, ordinary people have FOREHEADS), it's probably a stylistic choice considering it's more cartoony than something meant to be anatomically correct.

The Art style is simple enough to be allow him to do the Daily comic he makes this out to be, and has even added color. Shading is doubtful and I doubt it'd be necessary.

Not much to complain about except... Oh yeah, I knew I forgot something, my specialization as a writer: characterization...

The Kids are a bit... i dunno, Their personalities seem fine but they seem to be... Exaggerated versions of what they're supposed to be. It's like there was a comic about them earlier that never got published and their personalities were mild like whipped cream, and then all of a sudden Flanderization came along and by the time they got to the finished product, they're like uber extreme tobasco-wasabi sauce of what they once were..

Like an army of Strawman-kids or sumthin'! Taking some sort of view they're meant to represent and exaggerating them out of Proportion. Like that freaky Pacifist kid!

A Starwman Pacifist if I ever saw one. I mean, who taught this kid how to be a kid? It's like child-like fun was forced out of his very existence and we have this abomination against Nature!

Anyhow, that's my take. Still not doing bad. I haven't had much to complain about...

WHAT KIND OF CRITIC AM I!??? I CAN'T EVEN FIND A SINGLE THING WRONG WITH THIS THING!!???

MY GOD, How am I supposed to have a rep as a WebcomiCRITIC when I can't criticize something!

Don't worry folks, I'll get angry in no time, just you wait, I'll find a particularly NASTY webcomic that is so bad that I have to have some constructive criticism for them that'll totally sound mean-spirited!

I'm open to suggestions before I pick stuff out from my list. e-mail me at mousatoure@yahoo.com

Anyhow, remember, as Precocious's caption says:

"Because Knowledge is a Weapon."

-Read or Die You Uneducated Buffoons,
WebcomiCritic

Hello I'm the WebcomiCritic

Hello, I'm the WebcomiCritic, I do it because, well... somebody has to! Webcomic reviews are either fluff filled like my predecessor Robert A. Howard "Tangent" or filled with with hate, bitterness, and no constructiveness like my sworn nemesis John Solomon.

I'm here to provide a straight up fact filled review, and curse free while I'm at it! (It's a personal moral code thing)

Anyhow, with your support I intend to try to do the best I can with this thing.

And What better way to start this than with the first webcomic I ever read...

The Wotch...

Anyhow, See you guys next week God allow.

-Read or Die You Uneducated Buffoons,
WebcomiCritic